First, please read Disciplining Older Children by SaferChild, Inc. This page contains valuable tips for disciplining older children without spanking.

It has been already said that spanking as a punishment method tends to become less effective above the age of around 10. Generally, the older the child, the greater the chances that spankings will cease to be effective. Any ineffective punishment - i.e. one that does not improve the child's future behavior - is useless. Any ineffective spanking causes unjustified suffering and is therefore abusive.

It would be naive to think that increasing the severity of the spanking would fix that problem. It wouldn't. It would only shorten the distance to abuse.

There are two ways out. The first way is to use exclusively non-corporal punishments, such as grounding, extra chores, loss of privileges, allowance cuts, etc. The second way is to include spankings in the list of possible consequences, but only if the teenager agrees with it. It may surprise some parents, but there are in fact many teenagers who prefer spankings to other punishment methods. They say they prefer getting a spanking (if they deserve it) because it helps them best to realize the wrongness of their action and to effectively change their future behavior for the better. Also, spankings are often preferred because this punishment is intense but quickly over.

For this reason, this website recommends to use spanking for teenagers only if the teenager agrees with the use of this punishment. So we are talking about spankings in a cooperative environment; the suggestions in chapter "Cooperative children" apply.

The "bare bottom or not" question is debated rather heatedly when it comes to children in that age group. Many people feel it is inappropriate for parents to spank their teenage children bare bottom, even in the privacy of the home and the family. This website recommends to ask the child's opinion in this matter. If he/she is willing to accept spankings but prefers clothed-bottom spankings with an appropriately increased number of spanks (or possibly the same number of spanks, but given with a "safe" implement) to make up for the extra protection, the parent should go along with this request.

Readers have also suggested various ways to bare the bottom without involving frontal nudity, such as: taking the underwear down to just below the bottom, pulling the underwear up (into the crack); making the delinquent boy/girl wear thin (and/or tight) underwear, swimwear, backwards-on underwear, drop-seat pajamas or long johns, (if female) thong undies, (if male) a jockstrap, etc. etc. It's up to the reader to make use of any of these suggestions, or to come up with other ideas.


  • It is recommended to use spanking as a disciplinary method for teenage children only if they agree with it.
  • It is good to allow the cooperative teenager some choice to decide about the details of the spanking, such as the position or the implement (see chapter "Cooperative children".)
  • Even for teenagers, this website recommends to spank with the hand only. If you think this is too mild, you are either underestimating it or you are not doing it right (see chapter " Spanking techniques".)

Dec 2001: A reader pointed to this interesting thread from a public message forum. A mother tells how she decided (after some hesitation) to give her 14-year old daughter a choice between two weeks grounding or a spanking. She hadn't spanked her for years. Read the thread here: Teen daughters and discipline

Jun 2003: A 15-year-old reader recommends the way his parents spank him (see his letter dated June 13, 2003):

"If I'm going to get spanked, then we go to the living room. My parents leave, and I have 10 minutes of "alone time" to get ready. The living room has doors, so all off them are closed and I have the room to myself, and I can do whatever I want in it for those ten minutes, but at the end of them I have to be ready for my spanking. I have to move the table away from the couch and put the chair next to it for Mom or Dad to sit on. When the alone time is done I have to be lying flat on the couch with my pants and underpants off and a pillow under my crotch. During the time, Mom and Dad decide who will spank me, and how many. Once the time is up one of them comes in, sits down on the chair I put next to me, and I get my spanking. It hurts, but not too much. Mostly, I cry because I regret what I did, and I know I disappointed my parents. Still, the spanks are slow and hard so towards the end I cry because it hurts too. Once the spanking is over then they leave, and I have another 10 minutes of time to myself. I usually spend it crying and rubbing a bit, and I also have to put the living room back the way it usually is. Then I go out, and they hug me and tell me they love me, and we talk again about why I got spanked.

I know not many kids my age get spanked, but I think that maybe they should, because there are kids who go out and shoplift and stuff just for fun and their parents don't do anything about it. Now I get spanked very rarely, and almost always if I'm spanked for something I never do it again. I think if kids act in ways that deserve a spanking then they're not too old to spank."

Oct 2005, Reader's contribution: "When preparing a teenage boy for a spanking, it is important to make sure that the boy's genital area is well protected. This can be attained by having the person who will be administering the spanking slightlt spread his/her legs apart so that the frontal part of the torso can rest in between the opening. This will prevent any accidental injury or unintentional stimulation of the genital area."

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Last update: Jan-01-2006