References and links
Studies and opinions, pro-spanking
"Spare
the Rod? New Research Challenges Spanking Critics" - an analysis which
provides counterpoints to the major anti-spanking arguments by Dr. Den
A. Trumbull, M.D. and S. DuBose Ravenel, M.D. |
"When
to Spank" - an article by Lynn Rosellini. "For
decades, parenting experts have said spanking irreparably harms kids. But
a close look at the research suggests otherwise." (link broken) |
"Combining
Love and Limits in Authoritative Parenting: A Conditional Sequence Model
of Disciplinary Responses" - a study by Robert E. Larzelere, PhD. "...the
combined use of reasoning and punishment was more effective in delaying
misbehavior recurrences than was either one alone." This study
also features a chart
showing that teenage violence - as well as child abuse - has increased significantly since Sweden banned spanking in 1979. |
Speaking of Sweden, Mrs
Siv Westerberg's lecture to The Family Education Trust is an interesting
account of the current situation in Sweden where any parent must fear
getting their children taken from them and put into forcible care and
foster homes. "Sweden has, during the last decades, developed
into a kind of socio-medical totalitarian state...About five thousand Swedish
children are at present in forcible care in foster-homes and institutions.
Add to that about ten thousand children who are taken "voluntarily" into
care. That is to say, their parents are told that unless they sign papers
which say they gave up their children voluntarily, they will never see
them again." |
A summary of the "Larzelere
and Straus Debate" by Robert E. Larzelere. " ...the
current scientific evidence suggests that some kind of balanced middle
position on spanking is preferable to either of the polarized extremes." |
A critique of the Straus study: "Critique
of Anti-Spanking Study" by Robert E. Larzelere. "The
only thing that Straus et al. (1997) have proven is that spanking 6- to
9-year-olds at the rate of 156 times a year has a small, but detrimental
effect (accounting for 1.3% of subsequent variation in anti-social behavior).
Most children spanked from 1 to 25 times annually were in their most-improved
group." |
More links and references
to research on corporal punishment of children in the home and critiques
of the anti-spanking research can be found on this page: "Corporal
Punishment of Children" by Paul L. Poelstra. |
The homepage of a support group for parents and carers who support
appropriate use of physical punishment:"Sensible
Smacking" (this link is still intact but the page seems to have disappeared).
You can also go directly to their Yahoo club sensiblesmacking. |
A
letter from a board certified psychiatrist who "has interviewed a few
hundred children personally and has discussed spanking with them". "Every
single one of these children stated that they were far more upset by being
yelled at by an adult out of control than they had been by being spanked
by an adult in control and as a logical consequence of misbehavior." |
"In Praise of Spankings
for the Teenage Boy" - an essay by Richard Aaron Lynley, reproduced
at corpun.com with permission from Parent Now. "The over-the-knee
spanking is so aften associated with the kiddie spanking, that its use
on teenage boys provides the ultimate message for pointing out their immaturity...." |
"Spanking
as Discipline, not Abuse" - a sub-page of www.childprotectionreform.org
against the persecution of parents who spank. "At Child
Protection Reform, we believe spankings should be infrequent, well explained,
and held in reserve for direct disobedience or life-threatening behavior." |
"Spanking
as Discipline" by Suzanne Shell. "...What is more
interesting is that many of these children recognize when they deserve
a spanking....Does spanking harm children? No. Emphatically no."
This page also talks about U.S. legal issues - the distinction between
"reasonable, necessary and appropriate force" and child abuse. |
"Safe Smack" -
a non-profit child advocacy organization in New Zealand that sells videos
about their "Safe Smack Parenting Video Program" and "Parents Against Child
Abuse Video Program". |
"Spanking
down" - by Cathy Young, an excellent page full of common sense. "Of
11 studies analyzed last year in a report by the American Academy of Pediatrics,
only one found spanking had a harmful effect on children; six showed positive
results and four concluded it made no difference...Overly frequent spanking
probably can cause harm. But some psychologists say parents who don't use
physical discipline in a restrained, constructive manner are more likely
to lose their temper and inflict real abuse. Besides, I'm irritated by
the silliness of common anti-spanking arguments. Such as, "How come it's
illegal to hit anyone else but legal to hit your own kid?" The parent-child
relationship is unique in ways far more dramatic than that." |
"Spanking:
An Example of Parental Firmness" hosted by the Adventure Bonding homepage.
"Indeed,
one can raise perfectly good kids without spanking, although it's a bit
like having one hand tied behind your back." |
"Our
Family Values" from Joyce and Robert's Home Page. They are parents
of four nice children. "Our method of spanking is simple...Usually
we send them to their room to wait...We ask them what they did wrong, and
ask why they did it...Then it's o.t.k., and on with the punishment. Afterwards,
they are sent to their room for a while (usually an hour) and then we come
back and comfort them with hugs and words of love, reassuring them we only
punish them because we wish to teach them right from wrong, and to encourage
them to not partake in the punishable behavior again." |
"To
Spank or Not To Spank: A Parents' Handbook" - a good introduction to
the book by John Rosemond, Ph.D. "How often should
you spank? Rosemond says for young children, if it is more than once per
week it is likely too much. With older children once a month is probably
OK. With children over age 9 or 10, it is not effective." |
"Spanking" - an article by Jerry Taylor.
"Parents these days act more like amateur psychologists
than authority figures. The psychologically correct mode of discipline is
out of touch with reality. There have to be real "no's" in life...Some
recent research on NONABUSIVE spanking seems to support the use of
spanking...Psychologists who have come to endorse spanking urge parents
to use it judiciously. 'They'll be the first to tell you that spanking
should not be the first thing you do but the last in a continuum of
behaviors for helping children understand when they have broken trust with
the family. Some kids don't need it. Boundary pushers might." |
"Spank 'Em Safe" -
a small website devoted to how to spank kids safely for misbehavior. |
"CP Prosecutions" -
a pro-spanking activist group.
"This list is intended to publicize to pro-corporal
punishment parents and others some of the outrageous instances of
prosecution for spanking children. We believe that reasonable
corporal punishment is a fundamental right of parents and that
like-minded citizens should contact public officials to condemn any
direct or indirect attempt to outlaw spanking."
|
"www.spare-rods.com" -
a website by Joey Salvati, New Kensington, who encourages
paddling as a parenting tool (no more than 5 swats per day)
and recommends the use of punishment appointment slips
(printable from this site). For a shipping fee, you can also
order a free spanking paddle on this site.
"We have all seen, or perhaps even done it ourselves, a
parent grabbing their child in the process of doing something
wrong and spanking them in anger. Stopping the behavior is of
course the important thing to do. Punishing them immediately
is not as important as making them understand what they did
wrong. Fair punishment at a later time helps them understand
how important it is to you that they change that behavior and
allows them time to think about it.
To help your child understand that you love them and that the
spanking is because of their behavior, have the child fill out
an appointment form such as the one on the left. It is
important that the child writes down the behavior that needs
to be changed." See also these news articles:
Paddle-maker
sees himself on mission and
Spanking
site gets many hits.
|
"The
Analysis of a Spanking" - an analysis of a spanking memory
post by Sister Sharon.
"Punishment, or a better word, correction, can take many
forms. Physical punishment is not always appropriate, nor
is it good for all children. Some respond to nothing else,
on others it has no effect, so it is not to be taken as an
absolute way of treating every situation. (...)
With all punishment, or correction, it must be timely, and
the person must know and understand the reason. (...)
Also, the use of a paddle, this can vary, but the idea is
to have an instrument that gives maximum pain with minimal
injury. A tool like a paddle is ideal. The hand can be used
with too much force and do injury if you hit too hard. It
also does not have the stinging effect of an extension of
the hand like a paddle."
|
Pro-spanking parenting books
"Lots of Love
and a Spanking! A Common Sense Discipline Plan for Children from Birth
to Age Twelve That Works" by Jamie Pritchett (1997), 143 pages. Little
Palm Press; ISBN: 0965608719. "Whether you are a traditional
parent in a two-parent family, a single parent, a step-parent or a grandparent,
if your goal is to have polite, obedient and cheerful children, this book
is for you!" |
"The New
Dare to Discipline" by James C. Dobson (1996), 276 pages. Tyndale House
Pub; ISBN: 0842305068. "Children need love, trust, affection -
and discipline. From one generation too the next, the challenge of helping
children into responsible adults doesn't change. Dr. Dobson's classic Dare
to Discipline, a practical, reassuring guide for caring parents, has
sold over 2 million copies since its release in 1970." |
"How to
Discipline With Love: From Crib to College" by Fitzhugh Dodson (reissued
1982). New American Library; ISBN: 0451165241. "This book
gives great practical ideas and strategies for dealing with children of
all ages and stages. I found it particularly helpful for my toddler who
is in the "terrible" twos. The tips really help." |
"Confident
Parenting" by Anne Davis (1997). Souvenir Press Ltd; ISBN: 0285633767.
"A
childcare handbook on teaching children to distinguish between right and
wrong, which explains how, by gentle conditioning, children can be taught
to behave well during the first five years of their lives." |
More pro-spanking parenting books, some written from a christian, some
from a secular perspective, are listed on ProSpank's
recommended reading page, including book covers and links to amazon.com. |
"No
Fear, A Police Officer's Perspective" - by Detective Robert R. Surgenor (BPDPolice@AOL.com).
"The FBI's Uniform Crime Reports clearly indicate that juvenile crime has
reached the epidemic stage. Children committing murders, assaults and arson
have increased tremendously over the past twenty years. It seems that many
children today have no fear of consequences. (...)
Of all cases in his city where a child physically attacks their parent, only
1.9% of those children arrested experienced any form of corporal punishment,
or spanking, as they were growing up."
This book is available directly from the author, or on Amazon.com and
Barnesandnoble.com.
|
Spanking discussion groups
Two public discussion groups for parents who use spanking:
ChildCare-Discipline,
spankingchild
(hosted by egroups.com) |
An expert discussion group: "Bum
Rap" (hosted by The Next City). |
The Usenet contains a newsgroup "alt.parenting.spanking".
Google now also has a Web front-end to many Usenet newsgroups, including
alt.parenting.spanking.
|
"Pro/Con
Spanking Debate" and "Spanking - A Discussion of the Pros and Cons"" - two web message boards. |
"Discipline
and Behavior" - a folder of discussion groups hosted by ICQ. It contains
e.g. the groups "Spanking
Parents", "For
and About Children", "Spanking
Moms", "OTK
Parents", "Rewards
and punishment". |
"Corporal punishment:
Should it be used on children?" - selected contributions of a public
debate forum. |
"The
ProSpank Message Board" - "The place where parents, teachers and legal
guardians of children may discuss the use of corporal punishment as a discipline
option in the raising of children, from toddlers through teens." |
"How
do you discipline your children?" - a discussion board hosted by www.parenthoodweb.com. |
"Discipline
and Spanking@Home" - a discussion board hosted by familyeducation.com. |
"To
Spank or Not to Spank" - various opinions, hosted by www.parentsroom.org |
"Correctly
spanking children" - a moderated Yahoo group (members only).
|
"Parents
chat about spanking" - a Yahoo club.
|
Studies and opinions, anti-spanking
Most of these websites equate spanking with violence and child abuse.
A counter-analysis of the above "Spare the Rod?" essay: The
Fallacies of Pro-Spanking Science by Tom Johnson that provides "counter-counterpoints". |
"Facts
About Corporal Punishment" hosted by www.stophitting.com. (link broken) |
"Project NoSpank" - a big website
with lots of anti-spanking resources. "Our intention through
Project NoSpank is to equip readers with an effective weapon of defense
against the pervasive, primitive myth that by making children feel worse
we cause them to behave better...The problem is, committed, habituated
child-hitters/child-hurters don't seek parenting advice, don't believe
they need it and reject it when it's offered."
Warning: This website features photographs of physically abused
children. |
www.neverhitachild.org -
a.k.a. "The No Spanking Page", another anti-spanking website. "We
believe that the continued practice of hitting children tells children
that the use of physical aggression continues to be a legitimate means
to resolving conflict...We have enough violence in our society. Refusing
to be violent with our children should be our most immediate priority in
any sincere effort to reduce societal violence." |
"BeadMama's
Anti-Spanking Page" - a long list of anti-spanking articles. |
"The No Spanking Page" -
another website that calls itself "The No Spanking Page". "Hitting
is wrong. To hit someone is a violent thing to do. Violence is a thing
one person does to make another person hurt. We want to treat children
in ways that do not hurt or harm them...There is no situation that changes
hitting from a wrong thing into a right thing. There is no excuse that
magically makes hurting children kind or merciful." |
"Twenty Alternatives
to Punishment" by Aletha Solter, Ph.D. |
"Choosing
Not To Spank" by Laurie Morgan. "I do not spank. No
matter how you sugar coat it, the fact is that spanking is hitting a child.
I think hitting kids in any way, for any reason, is wrong...Some pro-spanking
Christians have argued that God punishes His children, and therefore so
should we to support their actions. Actually, God promises in plenty of
scriptures that there will be negative consequences to bad behavior, but
even when the devil harms us our loving God promises to use it for our
good." |
"www.childadvocate.org"
- another anti-spanking website by Lauriiiiee A. Couture. >"The
physical abuse of a child usually starts out as just a spanking. Spanking,
especially when administered to a child out of anger, can easily escalate
into legal definitions of physical abuse...Straus (1994) reports that,
...parents who approved of corporal punishment had a much higher rate
of going beyond that and severely assaulting their children than did parents
who did not approve of corporal punishment. It is not uncommon for an
adult to lose control while administering corporal punishment...Every spanking
chips away at the parent-child bond." |
"Alternatives
to Spanking: Positive Discipline Strategies" hosted by www.parenting-qa.com.
"The
following strategies are preventative in nature, designed to keep situations
from escalating to the point where parents feel furious and lash out." (link broken) |
"Corporal Punishment
By Mothers And Child's Cognitive Development: A Longitudinal Study"
- a study by Murray A. Straus and Mallieeeeee J. Paschall, Family Research Laboratory,
University of New Hampshire. "This research tested the
theory that use of corporal punishment (CP) by parents (such as slapping
a child's hand or "spanking") is associated with restricted cognitive development
of children. The hypothesis was tested on 960 children age 1 to 4 in the
National Longitudinal Study of Youth for whom cognitive ability measures
were available for Time 1 (1986) and Time 2 (1990)... It was found that
CP was associated with a decrease in cognitive ability from Time 1 to Time
2." |
"Why
You Shouldn't Spank Your Child" by Deborah Wood, Ph.D. (link broken) |
"Corporal
Punishment - Does Research Support Its Use?" by John Hawkins. "Research
seems to indicate that corporal punishment is either no more effective
than other means of correcting behavior or ineffective in correcting misbehavior
or erradicating problem behavior. It also seems to have many adverse, long-term
effects. No literature was found demonstrating the superiority of corporal
punishment over other means of correcting or eradicating misbehavior, nor
was any literature found that conclusively demonstrated the effectiveness
of corporal punishment. In summary, research does not support the use of
corporal punishment." |
"Let's
Stop Spanking Our Children" by Bruce A. Epstein, M.D. "Spanking
as a form of punishment is based on the theory that a child will avoid
pain; therefore, if misbehavior will lead to pain, the child will not commit
the act. This logic, unfortunately, fails in several regards...Spanking
offers children no explanation as to what they did wrong nor does it give
any constructive resolution to the problem...At best, spanking produces
only temporary changes in behavior. We have enough violence in our society
today. Perhaps the first step we can take to reduce it would be by refusing
to be violent with our children." |
"What
The Experts Say About Spanking" - a collection of anti-spanking quotes
by Jordan Riak. |
"The
Unsound Logic Behind Spanking - Beating Children To Teach Them To Be Kind"
by Michael Pastore. "Every adult who spanks or strikes
a child admits that he or she has failed that child...Strike a child and
you might be feared, but you will never be respected. Fear will rarely
prevent a child from misbehaving. Fearful children will grow up to be adults
crippled by fear, and will never find true fulfillment or true happiness." |
"Why
it hurts to spank a child" hosted by www.wethechildren.com. "The
word ‘spanking’ is a mystification. That is, it is a word that hides the
truth about what you are doing to your child. What you are really doing
when you are ‘spanking’ is hitting. Hitting a child is an act of violence.
Hitting a child is physical abuse...Hitting your child is not an option.
It is wrong, period...This pamphlet is published in memory of Alicia Robins
(Armstrong) who was spanked to death." |
"Five
Good Reasons To Stop Spanking Children" from Laramie County Council
for Prevention of Child Abuse. "Spanking teaches children
that it is ok to hit, and that anger justifies hitting, and hitting solves
problems...Spanking does not teach self-control; rather it teaches them
not to get caught...Adults spanked as children show an increased tendency
toward alcoholism depression, and thoughts of suicide...Spanking erodes
the trust bond between parent and child - thus making it increasingly difficult
for parents to influence their children's behavior as they grow older." |
"Call
to end spanking of children" - an article by Sally Heath, Australia.
"It
is time to ban the accepted right of parents to hit their children...Physical
punishment will rarely, if ever, be administered by a calm, child-focused
individual. It is perhaps more likely that a parent will physically punish
a child as a reflexive action or as a result of pent-up frustrations, fear
or anger...Many children have been seriously injured, or even killed, in
the name of discipline...The physical safety of a child is jeopardised
whenever an adult strikes him or her." (link broken) |
"Plain
Talk About Spanking" by Jordan Riak. "'Spanking' is
a euphemism. That is, it is a pleasant-sounding word for a practice that
is anything but pleasant...Spanking, like wife beating, is physically and
psychologically dangerous...The more a child is spanked, the greater is
the likelihood that that child will become an adult who deals with others,
not by reason and good example, but by force...The bully is such a person.
The rapist is such a person...We are confident that the day will come when
civilized humanity will look back with astonishment and pity at the time
when people believed hitting children was good for them." |
"Spanking:
a shortcut to nowhere" by Penelope Leach, Canada. "Spanking
has to be wrong because we all agree that hitting people is wrong and children
are people - aren't they? ...The difference between 'reasonable punishment'
and 'cruel abuse' is only a matter of degree. It's a thin line and, wherever
you choose to draw that line in your family, it is easily overstepped." (link broken) |
"Is
Corporal Punishment Degrading?" by Robert Green Ingersoll (1891). |
"Spanking Hurts Everybody" by Robert R. Gillogly, Theology Today, 1981.
"Once engrained in childhood, parenting patterns are
established, and once established, traditional methods of child rearing
are hard to break...Discipleship, in the form of positive discipline, needs
to be recovered as an important parenting concept for mothers and fathers in
rearing their children...The church needs to launch a campaign, even a
crusade on behalf of children, to stop spanking in America."
|
"The Spanking-Depression Connection" -
an article from Mothering magazine about a study published in the
Canadian Medical Association Journal.
"A sampling of 4,888 Ontario residents 15 and older who
were slapped or spanked "sometimes" or "often" showed a significantly higher
(twofold) anxiety-disorder rate than their peers who had "never" been
slapped or spanked. Twenty-one percent developed anxiety as adults,
13 percent had alcohol problems, and 17 percent reported drug abuse or
anxiety disorder."
|
"Study:
Spanking kids leads to long-term bad behavior" - a CNN article
on the Straus study.
"Based on interviews with the mothers of about
3,000 children, researcher Murray Straus of the University of New
Hampshire found that corporal punishment is counterproductive,
resulting in more antisocial behavior by children in later years...
Antisocial behavior was defined as cheating, lying, disobedience
at school, breaking things deliberately, not feeling sorry after
misbehaving or not getting along with teachers. "
|
"What the
Experts Say About Spanking" - a collection of quotes by
Jordan Riak. "Any form of corporal punishment
or 'spanking' is a violent attack upon another human being's
integrity...I have always been an advocate for the total abolition
of corporal punishment and I believe the connection with pornography
that is so oriented has its roots in our tradition of beating
children...The much-touted 'religious argument' to support corporal
punishment is built upon a few isolated quotes from the Book of
Proverbs. Using the same kind of selective reading, one could just
as easily cite the Bible as an authority for the practice of slavery,
the rigid suppression of women, polygamy, incest and
infanticide."
|
"University
of Minnesota News Service - an article of the 'Growing Concerns'
question-and-answer column with Martha Erickson.
"Although parents often defend the practice of
spanking by saying, "It works," research shows that spanking may
be effective in the short run in stopping kids from doing naughty
things in front of their parents, but it does not stop them from
doing things behind their parents' backs...All too often, the
spanking is what the child remembers, rather than the behavioral
lesson the parent is trying to teach."
|
"Rexanne's Web Review,
Issue #32 - "I am completely opposed to
spanking...The comment that disturbed me most was from parents who said
they did not spank their child "right away." The child is told they
are going to be spanked while the parent goes somewhere else to "calm
down" before doling out the dreaded punishment. Sorry, this one gives
me the willies. To me, this is a method of psychological torture...I
would rather see a parent swat a kid on the butt from sheer frustration,
as in the situation with a defiant child, than meditate on it a while
and then do the deed."
|
"The
Consequences of 'Consequences'" - an article by Teresa Pitman.
"Despite the name, consequences are really just
punishments...While establishing consequences might seem effective
on the surface, children hear the underlying messages even more
clearly. It tells them they are expected to misbehave, and that when
they do, they can't even object to the punishment because it was
'their choice.'"
|
"Spare
the Rod, Spare the Child - Alternatives to spanking really do work" -
an article by Stefani Leto. "To me, the only reason
for hitting a child is the same reason for hitting an adult: One has
lost control of one's own behavior. As far as I can tell, no matter
why parents hit, the true reason for hitting resides in the adult doing
the hitting. They have either lost their temper, which is an
understandable, although unattractive, reason, or they enjoy exercising
their greater might on a being smaller than they are, or they have been
convinced by some logic that spanking is right."
|
"Should Spanking Make a Comeback?" -
an article by The Roller-Coaster Moms. "
On NBC's July 1, 1999 Today show, Governor Frank Keating of Oklahoma
announced that corporal punishment as a disciplinary tool is now legal
in his state. The statesman recalled being spanked as a child and
endorsed spanking as an option still useful today. Despite comments
to the contrary made time and again by many parenting experts, Nevada
lawmakers want spanking to make a comeback, too... It's ironic that
the governor suggests we use violence in the form of spanking to
counter the violence erupting around us...
A misbehaving child needs more direction and love, not less, than one
who behaves well. When a young adolescent lives in a home where
inflexible rules and spankings are the norm, she is far less likely
to let parents into her private life, much less make them aware of
dangerous behavior."
|
"Experts:
Spanking Harms Children, Especially Girls" -
an article by Melinda Rice on www.womensenews.org.
"A growing number of experts believe that children,
in general, and girls, in particular, should not be spanked at home
or subjected to corporal punishment at school... All studies show
that boys are spanked significantly more than girls, but there are
special concerns with girls who are spanked. Of particular concern
is the sexual aspect of spanking girls... When a school district
permits teachers to paddle girls, it is setting those girls up to
be victims of future male authority figures, whether it be a boyfriend,
husband or employer."
|
Christian pro-spanking resources
"Discipline
and Instruction" - an article by Dr. James E. Murphy. (link broken) |
"Training Up
Your Child" - another (strongly Bible-based) Christian pro-spanking
essay. "Children are to be trained by their parents...Because
of God-granted parental authority, parents have the right to set their
will above that of their children and to command them to follow their rulership.
They also have the power to administer justice and to punish for disobedience,
or to reward for conformance to their commands...Chastisement is actually
an expression of parental love...Punishment should normally be administered
after a child has admitted his guilt (the fact that he was wrong), and
after the parents have forgiven his disobedience..." |
"Five Pointers for
Disciplining Children" by Harold S. Martin. "Every
time you ask a child to do something - such as "Come here;" "Don't touch;"
"Hush;" "Put that down;" or whatever - you must see that he obeys. When
you've said it in a normal tone - if he doesn't obey immediately - you
must punish hard enough so that it hurts, and so that he will not want
to do it so quickly again. As a child becomes older, it is better to use
other forms of punishment than spanking." |
"Disciplining
God's Way" by Craig Smith, New Zealand. "Spank with
a rod...Grounding, making them stand in the corner, forfeiting pocket money,
etc., do not deal with the problem of sin in the heart...Keep the rules
simple and few...We spank our children for breaking one of the four 'D's:
Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, and Destructiveness. Just about every
wrong will fall into one or more of these categories...Spanking deals immediately
with the issue; drives the foolishness out of the heart; restores the ruptured
relationship; clears the air of the anger, guilt, mistrust, frustration
and disappointment generated by the sin; completely settles the issue (although
restitution, a separate issue, may be required); leaves no period of grounding
or restriction to worry about and reminds everyone of the misdeeds...That
is very gratifyingly peaceful." |
"On spanking!
" - a big website that collects more christian pro-spanking information. |
"Avoiding
Millstones: An Open Letter to Those Who Advocate Spanking" by Rebecca
Prewett. "My purpose in writing this letter is not to
argue whether or not spanking has its place in the Christian home. Instead,
it is to appeal to those in the Body of Christ who teach and advocate spanking
that you would do so responsibly, prayerfully, humbly, fearfully, and in
a manner consistent with the whole counsel of God...Because the Bible defines
discipline as an act of love, it will only function properly in a broad
context of love...The manner of the parent in discipline should be to show
that the intention is to restore fellowship between parent and child." |
"Guidelines for spanking
your children" by J. F. Cogan. "Please note that we
are talking about temporary discomfort, usually to the buttocks. If your
corporal discipline is leaving marks on the body which are still visible
after thirty minutes, you may be involved in physical abuse, not corporal
discipline. As a general rule, limit your corporal punishment to your bare
hand...For every smack, there should be ten hugs, along with corrective
counseling...Never spank while in the heat of anger...Never spank to impress
others...Never spank because of accidents that could not be prevented even
if due care was taken." |
"Discipline of
children" - this link used to point to a site that presented some of
the main arguments from both the "spank" and the "don't spank" side. It
had a link (inluding our logo) to this website (SpankWithLove). Now this
URL contains a copy of Lazerlere's Critique of Anti-spanking Study,
the same as the one above. |
"Child Training"
- a christian mother writes about how shhhhhhe changed her minnd and learned
to spank nonabusively. "I used to be Mrs. Anti-Spanking...I
had only spanked a few times in our children's 4 1/2 years, and it was
in anger. Their disrespectful talk, not obeying until the 10th time,
and poor countenance needed to change, but how? I learned that I *did not*
have to spank in anger (a complete revelation!) I could actually have rules,
that when not followed through on the *first* time, would warrant discipline.
By disciplining the first time, you're totally calm and there is absolutely
no anger." |
"Chastening
Children" by Jonathan Lindvall. "The key to discriminating
between abuse and appropriate chastening is motivation. If the intent (whether
recognized or unrecognized) is to exalt oneself at another's expense to
vent one's own anger the punishment is abuse. If the intent is to humbly
obey God and compassionately bring the child to grieving repentance of
his sin the chastening cannot be classified as abuse although pain will
be inflicted. As with the medical procedure, it is good for the child,
despite his current displeasure." |
"The Ten Commandments
of Child Discipline" by James and Ruth Lyons. On the bottom of each
page you will find a link to the next commandment. "The
disciplining of a child is a two step process. It requires training first,
and correction afterwards. A child must be taught the way he should behave
before any deviant behavior can be corrected...One way to train a child
in the way he should go is to use "obedience lessons". These are instructions
you give your small children for the primary purpose of teaching them to
become accustomed to obeying your voice..." |
"When is
a child old enough to be spanked and how should it be done?" - an excerpt
from Parent Talk by Dr. Kevin Leman and Randy Carlson of Family Life Communications.
"If
you love the child, you will discipline the child, but you won't abuse
the child. Discipline and love go hand in hand." |
"Is
Spanking A Form Of Child Abuse?" by Ian Coker. "There
is a difference between harming a child and disciplining a child, and if
people don't know the difference then they should not become parents...
A child is made by God to be able to stand a spanking... Spanking is not
a form of child abuse - rather it is the opposite." |
"Spanking
Children Works" - this website is a work of satire. It pretends to
be the website of a christian sect that advocates severe forms of spanking.
They "recommend" - and even "sell" - spanking implements such as straps,
paddles, scourges, whisks, and floggers. "When we were
children, my brother (John) and I (David) were spanked. Our father was a
Southern Baptist Pastor...He used every spanking device we now
condone...My father asked me to take my pants and underwear off. Then I bent down. He
hit me with a whisk twenty times. Every time he hit me, he recited Proverbs
13:24. I wasn't able to sit for three weeks...This was the worst punishment
I received...And what was the outcome? My brother and I didn't turn into
antisocial criminals. We didn't turn into alcoholics or drug addicts. We
are now true Christians who follow every word of the Bible. Respected members
of our community. John and I are the best evidence that spanking does work." |
"Why
the Rod is Righteous" by Robert Deffinbaugh. "Do we
love our children? Then we will be diligent to chasten them when required.
Do we hate our children? Then we will avoid using the rod. Love seeks the
best interest of the child, which is sometimes served by inflicting pain
by means of the rod." |
"Marjorie's
Moderate Spanking Webpage" by Marjorie (link broken).
"What is meant by 'A
Moderate Spanking?' 'Moderate' means that which does not veer to
one extreme or the other - that which holds fast to the middle ground...Some
parenting authors recommend thrashing a child with a flexible switch until
her will has broken. This is not moderate spanking. Other parenting authors
recommend just one or two swats with the hand over a child's clothing.
This, too, is not moderate spanking." |
"PRODIS
Parenting" is a christian pro-spanking support group for UK parents. |
"Child Discipline Series" - an article from the christianity.com network.
"As a Christian and in contrast to modern psychology, I employ spanking in the
family home. Administered in an atmosphere of love, fairness and caring concern,
to discipline and deter."
|
"Why, When, and
How to Spank" by Mark and Sallie Benedict.
"My preference for utensils was to keep half a dozen wooden
paint paddles (free at the paint store) for our toddler sized children to be
used on bare skin. If you are disciplining older children through clothing, a
slender flexible rod several feet long (the traditional "switch"), but no more
than 1/4" thick will still sting. It must be flexible so it will not bruise
or hurt if it inadvertently comes into contact with the spinal area, due to
a squirming child."
|
"A Case of Trouble with Twins" -
a discussion from the same site.
"My dear wife... was brought up by very strict Christian parents.
She was never spanked in anger and always knew exactly why she and her siblings
were being spanked. I have tried to instill these same procedures into our
three children, a boy 9 years old, and two twin girls, 4 years old. We always
agreed on discipline methods and started real spanking when our children were
less than 2 yrs old. We still have to spank them fairly often but somewhat less now.
When we do it, is not just a love tap to the bottom. Spankings need to be painful
to present a lesson. We don't think 1 swat on the rear does any good... When
spanking is necessary, it should be done over the knee, bare bottom and enough
times to make an impact - one or two for every year of the child's age."
|
"Spanking in Love" -
a christian pro-spanking article by Jim Baumgaertel. "As soon as the
child is old enough to know they’ve done wrong, we recommend starting
some form of spanking...It worked well for us to use a thin wooden spoon.
We felt it to be safer than using our hand, though there were times we used
our hand. With the hand there can be too much momentum. We would pull the
pants down in the back and spank one, two, or three times on the bare
bottom...It was our view that the actual magnitude of the
spanking was not so important. That is, we could afford to have the
spanking be too mild rather than too severe, because it was the act of
spanking that was the important thing, not the nature of the spanking
itself."
|
"What Does the
Bible Say About Spanking Children?" - bible quotations and
interpretation. "Some people say that all spanking is
child abuse, but this is totally wrong. The real abuse to the child is
not to spank them when they need correction. Of course, some parents,
who themselves are out of control, can abuse their children by beating
them in angry rages. This is child abuse, however, it does not justify
doing away with spanking children if it is done properly, and for the
right reasons."
|
"Spanking that works"
by Pastor Mike - a page on how to spank children correctly, outlining an
"8 Step Spanking Plan". He advises parents to spank their children fully
clothed with the hand, giving as many spanks as the child's age.
|
"The Loving Art of Spanking" -
an article from www.partiarch.com. "...a spanking
should be given promptly after the offense... it should be administered
by the father if he is present (and by the mother in his absence)... It should
be carried out in private to focus the attention of the child on the
parent and to eliminate any other influences... The reason for the
spanking must be clarified so that the child understands exactly why
he is about to experience pain... Smaller children can be
laid across the knees or lap. Older children could be told to lay over a
chair or the edge of the bed. Part of the child's duty in receiving the
discipline is to cooperate with the process and to assume the necessary
position without complaint... Your aim should be to spank until you elicit
a cry of repentance from the child... Once the discipline is inflicted...
seek a confession of sin from the child (if it was not made before the
spanking) and have him ask for forgiveness... express forgiveness and
love for the child... pray for the child... plan restitution."
|
"What is Domestic Discipline" -
an online book by Charles Gleason. "Corporal punishment
works WONDERS, as it is something "our flesh" wants to avoid at all costs...
The proper place to begin using CP, is in the home and family. Very mild
forms of spanking in the "early years" of childhood, can save more severe
spankings down the road... Young children need not be spanked very hard
to "get their attention", and help them to see the error of their ways.
A parent or guardian can use their open hand to spank kids on their bare
buttocks and produce "stinging pain", without the need to spank them in
an intense manner... As children become older, you may find it necessary
to use an implement like a belt, hair brush, or paddle, to do an effective
job of spanking them. I recommend younger children (pre-teens) be spanked
"bare butt" as a safety factor, so you can monitor any marks you may create
during the spanking process. Some kids can endure a lot of pain, and may
require a more intense spanking than others. This is why I WON’T tell you
how long, or how hard, to spank them. If you spank kids fully clothed, you
will most likely spank them too hard and risk injuring them. Or they may
not even feel any pain due to the thick clothing, and mock your attempt to
discipline them."
|
"Domestic Discipline Concepts" -
Charles Gleason's main website. "Some people refer to me as
the "spanking minister", because I believe discipline & accountability are
true ESSENTIALS in life. While spanking surely can't save your soul, it may
very well help you live long enough to answer God's call and get saved.
(before it is eternally too late)" "Charlie/akadad" offers a
mentorship program.
|
"Child Training Resources for
Biblical Parenting" -
a website by Steve Haymond, father of 6 children. You can order their
christian parenting books and also a home-manufactured chastening instrument
for $6.50 each. "Having the qualities of the Biblical rod
yet designed with today's parents in mind, our chastening instrument is
perfectly suited for the loving correction of your little ones... Our
instrument is flexible, unbreakable, made of premium grade polyurethane
and measures 9" long, 1-1/2" wide and 3/16" thick."
|
"Spanking
as Creative Correction" - an excerpt from the book "Creative Correction"
by Lisa Whelchel. "Whether spanking works or is the
best approach depends not only on the child and the circumstances, but
also on his or her age. When my kids were little, for example, I
sometimes felt it was more effective to administer a spanking than to
try to reason with them... , I've quoted Proverbs 22:15 to my children
about a hundred times. It says, "Folly is bound up in the heart of a
child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him." The
companion verse is Proverbs 29:15: "The rod of correction imparts
wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother." My kids
know from these verses that spanking not only drives out the foolishness
in them, but it also produces positive benefits, such as bringing them
wisdom. This helps us all focus on the good that will result from an
otherwise painful situation."
|
Christian pro-spanking parenting books
"Withhold Not Correction" by Bruce A. Ray (1978). Baker Book House,
Grand Rapids. This and the next two books were recommended by Ken Holland.
Sorry, no URL available. |
"What's
A Parent to Do?" by C. S. Lovett (1971). Personal Christianity, Covina,
CA. "Sometimes the behavior of a teenager can be very
baffling. What does the parent do then? This book offers precise instructions
for working with the Holy Spirit to apply godly discipline." |
"The Family" by John Rice. Sword of the Lord Publishing, Murphyeesboro,
TN. Sorry, no URL available. |
More pro-spanking parenting books, some written from a christian, some
from a secular perspective, are listed on ProSpank's
recommended reading page, including book covers and links to amazon.com. |
"Spanking:
Why, When, How" by Roy Lessin (1997), 90 pages. Bethany House; ISBN:
0871234947. "The author, sensitive to the growing problem
of child abuse, talks about the use of corporal punishment in child-rearing
and makes a clear distinction between spanking and beating. His attempt
to provide a biblical perspective will be helpful to many parents." |
"Spanking: A Loving Discipline"
by Roy Lessin (2002), 112 pages. Bethany House; ISBN:
0764225634. "For all Christian parents who wonder how
to discipline their young children, Roy Lessin clearly explains the
biblical mandate to "train children in the way they should go" and how
spanking is one part of that mandate. Lessin teaches parents when and
how to spank in a way that helps children learn to obey. Just as
important, he teaches when not to spank, including a straightforward,
helpful distinction between loving discipline and child abuse." |
Islamic pro-spanking resources
"12
Tips for Childrearing" by Ibrahim Bowers. "Some parents
slap their children in the face, beat them on the hand, or twist their
ears. These methods should, however, be avoided. Slapping in the face humiliates
the child, and beating on the hand or twisting the ear could cause permanent
physical damage to the child...I personally use only two physical methods
for disciplining my children: light slaps on the hand when the child is
using his hands to do something wrong and spanking the child on his buttocks
in a way that is not permanently harmful but that only causes some stinging." |
"Effective Islamic Parenting" -
a paper on islamic parenting. "...only as a last resort,
your child can be physically punished...you should never
hit your child when you are angry, not only are you then more likely
to become excessive in your punishment but doing so will teach your
child that it is right to hit people when they are angry...It is a
fact of learning that you cannot punish a child without harming
him/her, so punishment can only become necessary if you have no positive
alternative, and the good that comes from being punished will outweigh
the harm you do to your child...Remember, the Prophet Muhammad (peace
be upon him) never once hit a child, a woman or a servant." |
Pagan pro-spanking resources
"Spare
the Rod" by Mercuria, hosted by www.paganparenting.net.
"I
am a spanking mom - and I will look anyone in the eyes and say that with
my chin high. But I spank according to very well-defined rules... Spankings
may only be given after you've verbally warned them...A spanking is strictly
defined as three stiff swats with an open palm on a clothed behind...Contrary
to popular belief, discipline is a Pagan value." (Another pagan
parent disagrees: "Instead
of Spanking" by Kandie Demarest.) |
Other links
Most of these references are neither explicitly pro-spanking nor anti-spanking.
"Corporal
Punishment of Children" - a general overview of the topic by
B. A. Robinson, hosted by www.religioustolerance.org.
It illuminates some of the religious aspects of spanking. "The
restriction of parents hitting their children is expected to become one
of the main topics of debate between religious conservatives and liberals
during the next decade." |
A collection of factual information about corporal punishment: "The
World Corporal Punishment Research Website" by Collin Farrell. "1,000
pages of information on official corporal punishment around the world,
past and present." |
"Punishment
Selector" -
"This site provides parents with a method by which
parents can impose punishment on their children without causing any
unnecessary relationship problems between the child and the parent,
as the selection of punishment is completely random. Every time a
child breaks a family rule or behaves inappropriately, simply send
them to this site and click on the button below and in a few seconds
the site will return a punishment that is to be imposed. The actual
punishment is selected on a completely random basis, and will be one
of ten different punishments each time this page is loaded and the
button below is pressed. (...) The punishments on this site are best
suited for children and teenagers ages 8 to 16. (...)
Grounding, spanking, no television/computer/video games, paying a
fine, extra chores, child's choice, writing an essay about what you
did, and a second chance (no punishment this time)." |
"Questions
About Spanking" - two web surveys. "Spanking: Some
consider it a necessary part of raising a child...others consider it abuse.
Does it cause children to learn to use violence, as some have claimed,
or can it be a healthy, positive form of dicipline?" |
"Spanking
Web links" - additional links from www.childprotectionreform.org |
"A Study
of Attitudes Towards Corporal Punishment as an Educational Procedure From
the Earliest Times to the Present" - a thesis by Robert McCole Wilson
that gives a good overview of the history of spanking. "This
thesis is an attempt to help clarify the issue of corporal punishment in
schools by looking at the historical development of the attitudes which
are currently held. The views on corporal punishment of influential educational
thinkers from the earliest times to the present have been presented and
analysed. Also the degree to which these views were a reflection of, or
contrast to, the attitudes of the time has been noted." |
"Social Change and Trends
in Approval of Corporal Punishment by Parents from 1968 to 1994" by
Murray A. Straus and Anita K. Mathur, Family Research Laboratory, University
of New Hampshire. "In 1968 there was almost complete consensus
concerning the cultural norm which permitted and expected parents to use
corporal punishment. At that time 94% of the U.S. adult population approved
of spanking a child. We tested the hypothesis that approval of corporal
punishment declined since then. The findings...show a decrease to 68% in
1994." |
"The
four styles of parenting" by Ron Huxley - an overview of the parenting
styles "Rejecting/Neglecting", "Authoritarian", "Permissive", and "Democratic
or Balanced". "In his book, Love & Limits: Achieving
a Balance in Parenting, parenting expert Ron Huxley writes about the four
styles of parenting. Each style corresponds to a balance of love and limits.
Where do you fit in?" |
If you need a parenting expert for a specific problem, try www.allexperts.com
(currently, none of their experts claims expertise in spanking, but some
mention 'discipline'):
Category: Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers
Category: Parenting--Teens |
www.thelaboroflove.com
hosts a search engine
specific for parenting websites. They have also listed this website
(SpankWithLove) under Parenting/Issues/Discipline. |
www.gosin.com (Adult Aid For Child
Discipline) is a website "for
those adults who simply cannot decide on the amount of punishment a child
should receive". There are three types of punishment to choose from: restriction,
spanking, and time out. The amount of punishment (e.g. number of spanks)
will be chosen randomly within a given range, similar to "The Punishment
Selector" above. They have a punishment
contract: fill in the blanks and print the page. And they have kindly
listed this website (SpankWithLove) under the headline "helpful links"
- thanks a lot! |
"The
National Center for the Study of Corporal Punishment and Alternatives -
(NCSCPA)", Temple University, Philadelphia. "The NCSCPA
is the only center of its kind in the world; it is unique as a center for
research, scholarhip, clinical investigation, the advocacy concerning corporal
punishment and more recently, psychological maltreatment in the schools." |
You can find more related
links at: Google
Web Directory, Home > Family > Parenting > Resources > Discipline. |
The images on this website
were largely taken from The
Handprints Spanking Art & Stories Page. If this link is broken,
try this
one or this
one. "The author of this web page strongly opposes
all forms of child abuse and violence against children, including "spanking".
The child discipline techniques depicted on this web site should never
be used on real-life children." |
www.physicianschat.org hosts
information on spanking
and discipline
in RealAudio format. "Call the behavior, not the child,
"bad" or "naughty"...Spanking: never more than once per day; only with
an open hand; never on the face; never for a violent act; only between
ages 2 & 5 years old." |
"Resources
on Corporal Punishment" - a list of scientific resources on this subject. |
"A
Good Whuppin'?" by DeNeen L. Brown, Washington Post (1998). |
Definitions
of Physical Child Abuse in the U.S.A., by State (PDF file). According
to this paper, many states explicitly define skin bruises as signs of child
abuse. One more reason to spank only with the hand and to refrain from
using implements. More information on the legal definitions of child abuse
can be found at "State
Statutes", hosted by the National
Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information. |
"Child
Abuse: Threat or Menace? How common is it really?" by Douglas J. Besharov
with Jacob W. Dembosky (1996). "Having worked in the field
for 30 years, I can testify firsthand that the problem of child abuse and
neglect is real. But however well meant, exaggerating the severity of abuse
endangers children...And to claim recklessly that too few cases are investigated
is to play with fire. Child-protective agencies are already overwhelmed
investigating about 2 million reports a year, two-thirds of which are dismissed
as unfounded or inappropriate." |
"Parental
Attitudes and Beliefs Regarding Punishment as a Means of Child Discipline"
by Ronald L. Pitzer, Extension Family Sociologist (1993). "Slapping,
spanking, and paddling children for purposes of discipline are accepted,
pervasive, adult behaviors in U.S. families...There is a normative expectation
in American society that parents will use physical punishment with their
children...80-90 percent of the population considers parents to have not
just the right, but the moral obligation, to spank or slap." |
"The
Physical Punishment of Children in Scotland: A Consultation" - a paper
by the Scottish Executive Justice Department, February 2000. "The
law in Scotland recognises a parent’s right to administer moderate corporal
punishment to his or her child... In deciding if any punishment is excessive
courts look at all the circumstances of the case including the age, sex
and any known disabilities or weaknesses of the child. Factors such as
the nature and context of the punishment, the manner and method of its
execution, its duration and its physical and mental effects are all to
be taken into account. The force must be moderate, and not inspired by
vindictiveness." |
"The
Open Directory: Home/Family/Parenting/Resources/Discipline" contains
more links to related websites, including a link to this site. |
"saferchild.org":
A comprehensive website about child health and safety issues. It features a
link to this site on its
Discipline
page.
"Safer Child isn't going to tell you to spank or not spank...
We do believe in strong and consistent discipline, but we don't feel the
word necessarily means something physical. On this page, we'll provide you
with alternative means to discipline a child, and information on what the
experts and the law consider to be physical abuse. We'll give you links to
organizations that discuss various methods of discipline and that have
different points of view. And then we'll let you -- the parent -- decide
for yourself." |
"Spanking
Pals" - a website by Janie Weber who is looking for
penpals who get spanked at home (link broken).
"I am a 14 year old girl that when I am mischievous,
I will still be spanked at home. I love writing to pen pals, but when my
pen pals find out I get bare bottom spankings from Mom and Dad, they will
tell me things like "you're being abused", and "you should go to the
police". Stupid things like that. Mom and Dad love me very much, and
it's because they love me that they discipline me when I need it."
|
"
The Five C's of Effective Discipline" -
"CLARITY: Be clear when you set rights, rules and
limits. CONSISTENCY: Be consistent in enforcing rules. COMMUNICATION:
Talk about rights, rules and limits often. CARING: Use encouragement
and support, not just discipline for broken rules. CREATE: Instill a
sense of social responsibility in your children."
|
"Bring Back the Rod" -
a Daily Mail & Guardian news article about requests for the reintroduction of
school corporal punishment in South Africa.
|
"Family.Org Hot Topics: Principles of Discipline" -
"Administering discipline is often frustrating and
unpleasant--for parent and child alike. But in the life of a young person,
there's no substitute for understanding boundaries and responsibilities
as taught by a caring mother or father. It's vital that parental authority
be demonstrated even in the early stages of a child's development, and
equally important that all instruction is passed on with love and respect."
"Family.Org Hot Topics: Overview of Spanking" -
"Spanking can be a valuable disciplinary tool--if it is
administered appropriately. It is essential to always balance firmness
with loving sensitivity. Indeed, spanking is not appropriate for every
child or at every age, and is unnecessary in many situations. For example,
willful disobedience or defiance of authority might warrant corporal
punishment, while mere childish irresponsibility does not. When spankings
are properly managed, there is no reason to fear they will produce harmful
emotional or psychological effects in children." (Questions and Answers)
|
"News10 Close-Up:
Spare the Rod?" - a news report featuring spanking pros and cons.
|
"Spare the rod?
Studies of spanking inconclusive" - a HealthJournal news report.
"Parents looking for the definitive word on spanking
will not find it in scientific studies, which are sharply divided on
the subject and often seriously flawed. Moral, religious, family and
social factors are the strongest influences in parents' decision to
spank or not."
|
"Spare
the Rod?" - a good overview of the arguments for and against
spanking by Maureen Tully. "I believe that the
'jury is still out' on the spanking issue, but that at the same
time, has definitely returned and given a guilty verdict to the
abusive use of any child for any reason, value or religious belief.
As parents and counsellors, we need to distinguish between a mild
spanking motivated from love for the purpose of teaching and
correcting, and as a last resort, from issues of child abuse."
|
"Sparing
the Rod: Black Attitudes on Spanking" - an Africana.com news
article by Aïda Croal. "According to Dr. Alvin
Poussaint, professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard Medical
School, studies show that African Americans resort to corporal
punishment 20-30% more than the general population."
|
"Foundations
of Psychohistory" by Lloyd Demause, chapter 1 pages 45-50.
"The
evidence which I have collected on methods of disciplining children
leads me to believe that a very large percentage of the children
born prior to the eighteenth century were what would today be termed
"battered children"... Beating instruments included whips of all
kinds, including the cat-o'-nine-tails, shovels, canes, iron and
wooden rods, bundles of sticks, the discipline (a whip made of small
chains), and special school instruments like the flapper, which had
a pear-shaped end and a round hole to raise blisters. Their
comparative frequency of use may be indicated by the categories of
the German schoolmaster who reckoned he had given 911,527 strokes
with the stick, 124,000 lashes with the whip, 136,715 slaps with
the hand, and 1,115,800 boxes on the ear... The beatings
described in the sources were generally severe, involved bruising
and bloodying of the body, began early, and were a regular part of
the child's life."
|
"Discipline:
to spank or not to spank?" - an article from a home education website.
"I don't believe a child should ever be spanked
(or 'disciplined' in any other way) simply for being a child,
which often includes forgetfulness. I don't believe he should
ever be spanked with anything other than a hand, as it might cause
damage. I don't believe he should be spanked for school problems,
which usually occur because of boredom, or being bullied, and I
absolutely don't believe that older children or teens should ever
be spanked. The more we respect our children, the more they will
respect us. Some children's personalities mean that spanking is
never a good idea for them.
BUT... I do see that there is a case for infrequent spanking for
some children, from toddlerhood until they are about five. There
is not just a fine line but a huge gap between occasional, controlled
spanking for pre-defined reasons, and violent abuse. To ban all
spanking in the hope of stopping abusive beating is as pointless
as banning all alcohol in the hope of stopping drunkenness. It
merely pushes the problem underground, and makes good parents feel
that they have done wrong."
|
"Restorative
Justice in Everyday Life: Beyond the Formal Ritual" - a paper by
Ted Wachtel, President of the International Institute for Resorative
Pracices, presented in 1999. "Punishment in response
to crime and other wrongdoing is the prevailing practice, not just in
criminal justice systems but throughout most modern societies. Punishment
is usually seen as the most appropriate response to crime and to
wrongdoing in schools, families and workplaces. Those who fail to punish
naughty children and offending youths and adults are often labelled as
'permissive.' This punitive-permissive continuum reflects the current
popular view, but offers a very confined perspective and limited choice:
to punish or not to punish. The only other variable is the severity of
the punishment, such as the amount of the fine or the length of the
sentence. However, we can construct a more useful view of social control
by looking at the interplay of two more comprehensive variables, control
and support... Now we can combine a high or low level of control with a
high or low level of support to identify four general approaches to
social control: neglectful, permissive, punitive (or retributive) and
restorative."
|
"UC
Berkeley study finds no lasting harm among adolescents from moderate
spanking earlier in childhood" and
"Moderate
spanking leaves no lasting mark, study says" - two articles about a
long-term study
published in 2001 by Diana Baumrind and Elizabeth Owens, research psychologists at
Berkeley’s Institute of Human Development (University of California).
"Owens and Baumrind analyzed data gathered from 100
middle-class white families from 1968 to 1980. The children and parents
were interviewed, tested and observed on three occasions by two teams
of psychologists when the children were 4, 9 and 14. (...)
The study separates out parents who use spanking frequently and
severely - resulting in evidence of harm - and focuses on those
families who occasionally spank their children, a practice that Baumrind
calls normal for the population sampled. (...)
The study found the majority of families disciplined their preschool
children by using mild to moderate spanking. The results showed no
negative effects on cognitive, social or behavioral skills of those
youngsters and found no difference between them and the 4 percent of
children who were not physically disciplined.
The study found that 4 percent to 7 percent of parents fell into the
"red zone" by disciplining their children frequently and impulsively,
by such means as verbal punishment, using a paddle, hitting their
children in the face or torso or throwing and shaking them.
Those children were found to be not as adjusted socially and more
likely to have behavioral problems or experience anxiety or depression,
Owens said. (...)
"When we removed this 'red zone' group of parents," said Baumrind,
"we were left with very few small but significant correlations between
normative physical punishment and later misbehavior among the children
at age 8 to 9. (...)
She said the few links that remained were explained by the child's
prior misbehavior. In other words, when researchers controlled for
the tendency of the child to be uncooperative or defiant as preschoolers,
all correlations between spanking and harmful effects were close to zero."
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"Responsive
Discipline: Effective Tools for Parents" -
a free online personal study course by Dr. Charles A. Smith,
published at the Kansas State University Cooperative Extension Service.
"Reward and punishment are not necessarily
wrong. Using consequences is an important part of guidance and
discipline. The problem occurs when they are overused.
Children who are raised primarily through external rewards and
punishments will avoid misbehavior out of a fear of being caught
and punished. (...) These children behave if the parent
is nearby, ever watchful of how the parent will react to what
they do. When the parent is absent, however, these children may
misbehave. (...) Although we know chronic or severe physical
punishment can have dramatic negative consequences for children,
not all physical punishment is child abuse. Infrequent, mild
physical punishment by parents may appear to be effective in
stopping misbehavior in some young children. Although there
continues to be some debate among professionals about the merits
of its use, I am not familiar with any research showing that
infrequent, mild physical punishment has clear long-term negative
consequences for children. The use of this discipline choice
will be further moderated by a relationship in which the child
feels deeply loved and supported by the parent. (...)
Although it may seem to work, spanking is not recommended as
one of the discipline tools."
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"Guidance for
Effective Discipline" - a publication by the American
Academy of Pediatrics. "Spanking, as discussed
here, refers to striking a child with an open hand on the
buttocks or extremities with the intention of modifying behavior
without causing physical injury. Other forms of physical punishment,
such as striking a child with an object, striking a child on parts
of the body other than the buttocks or extremities, striking a
child with such intensity that marks lasting more than a few
minutes occur, pulling a child’s hair, jerking a child by the
arm, shaking a child, and physical punishment delivered in anger
with intent to cause pain, are unacceptable and may be dangerous
to the health and well-being of the child. These types of
physical punishment should never be used.
Despite its common acceptance, and even advocacy for its
use, spanking is a less effective strategy than time-out or
removal of privileges for reducing undesired behavior in children.
Although spanking may immediately reduce or stop an undesired
behavior, its effectiveness decreases with subsequent use. The
only way to maintain the initial effect of spanking is to
systematically increase the intensity with which it is delivered,
which can quickly escalate into abuse. Thus, at best, spanking
is only effective when used in selective infrequent situations."
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"Convention
on the Rights of the Child" adopted by the General Assembly
of the United Nations on 20 November 1989.
"Article 19, 1. States Parties shall take all appropriate legislative, administrative,
social and educational measures to protect the child from all forms of
physical or mental violence, injury or abuse, neglect or negligent
treatment, maltreatment or exploitation, including sexual abuse, while
in the care of parent(s), legal guardian(s) or any other person who has
the care of the child. (...)
Article 29, 1. States Parties agree that the education of the child
shall be directed to:
(a) The development of the child's personality, talents and mental
and physical abilities to their fullest potential;
(b) The development of respect for human rights and fundamental
freedoms, and for the principles enshrined in the Charter of the
United Nations;
(c) The development of respect for the child's parents, his or
her own cultural identity, language and values, for the national
values of the country in which the child is living, the country
from which he or she may originate, and for civilizations different
from his or her own;
(d) The preparation of the child for responsible life in a free
society, in the spirit of understanding, peace, tolerance, equality
of sexes, and friendship among all peoples, ethnic, national and
religious groups and persons of indigenous origin;
(e) The development of respect for the natural environment. (...)
Article 37 States Parties shall ensure that:
(a) No child shall be subjected to torture or other cruel, inhuman or
degrading treatment or punishment."
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"The Childhelp
USA® National Child Abuse Hotline" - a hotline for calls from
the United States, Canada, U.S. Virgin Islands, Guam and Puerto Rico:
1-800-4-A-CHILD® (1-800-422-4453)
"The Childhelp USA® National Child Abuse Hotline operates 24
hours a day, seven days a week (...)
The hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature
and referrals. State-of-the-art technology provides translators
in approximately 140 languages.
The Childhelp USA® National Child Abuse Hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD®,
provides confidential, toll-free assistance to:
* Children who are being abused and want help
* Frustrated parents who are about to lose control and are seeking help
* Adults and children requesting the local telephone number to report cases of abuse
* Adult survivors of child abuse who are feeling unsafe or suicidal
* Adults requesting parenting tips, definitions of child abuse, or
names of recommended books regarding parenting, child development
or adult survivor issues"
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"Bad
parenting 'causes child crime'" - a BBC News article.
"'Feckless' and abusive parents are to be blamed by the government
for youth crime and unruly behaviour in schools, it has been reported.
Education Secretary Estelle Morris (...) will say she wants to 'put
teachers back on the pedestal' to give children better discipline
and lead them away from violence. She will tell the conference
in Cardiff: 'How can we expect pupils
to respect teachers if their parents don't? Parents must set the
right example, and most do. But there is a hard-core of feckless
parents who have a corrosive effect on the rest.
There is a cycle of disrespect starting in school and lasting
throughout these children's lives.'"
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"Judge
rules spanking of girl, 14, by man OK" - a news article by
Sheila McLaughlin, The Cincinnati Enquirer.
"A judge on Thursday acquitted a middle-aged
psychologist of an assault charge for pulling down a 14-year-old
girl's pants and spanking her hard enough to cause bruises. (...)
He was upset because the girl was picked up by police the night
before on drug and curfew violations when she was supposed to be
spending the night at his house after attending a football game
with his daughter. (...) "I spanked her hard enough so she could
feel it ... so it would sting, so she wouldn't be able to sit
down, so she would remember it." (...) The girl's grandmother
said she did not give the man permission to strike the child,
although she had discussed her granddaughter's discipline problems
with him."
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"1024,
Inc. Develops Safe Alternative Discipline Device for Children" - an
article about a company that sells "the first safe and effective
alternative discipline device for children", B-Stik(TM).
"Designed to allow a parent or caregiver to
physically discipline a child without causing harm or injury,
B-Stik is a hand-held pliant baton that will sting upon contact
but leave the child free of welts, bruises or blunt trauma. Steven
Robyor, who developed B-Stik, hopes the product will eliminate
cases of serious injury and abuse resulting from inappropriate
discipline." See their website: http://www.b-stik.com/ (link broken)
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new (Dec)
www.spankingprocon.com -
Links to pro-spanking and anti-spanking websites.
|
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If a link is broken or if you know any further websites that may be
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Last update: Dec-13-2004 |
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