JemSightings and JemReports!

This section will have all the reports of Jem's shows, and sightings of Jem around the world. There is very little here at the moment but stay tuned for more updates!

15/10/05 It's official, you have been sighted!

Dear Saint Clement's, I would like to submit a Jem Sighting. The particular Sighting occurred on the 3rd day of October, which fell on a Monday this year. Twas 2.30pm, or there abouts, and I was wondering through that Mall known as Manner's. Who should I see as I traversed that fair place, that domain of flying rats, but the one who was said to have returned to town. Standing in conversation at the Cuba Street end of the mall, I saw the man Jem. Sporting a hansom cap and swift jacket, Jem appeared as radiant as ever, his naturally tanned complexion glowing in the sun. Alas it was only a brief sighting of Jem, as I had other business to attend to, namely the gym, and hurried on my way past him. But nevertheless, we know for sure now that Jem has indeed returned to Wellington, to once again inhabit his domain.

Jem's Jess ;)

15/12/04 On a damp night in mid-December...

So, I saw Jem and Taika leaving Downstage after their show, and decided to update the reports with one of my own... not very exciting though, just basically an 'I saw them!' becauswe I was on the other side of the road, it was raining (and in the relative dryness of a bus stop), and they were quite wrapped up against the weather (honestly people, it's meant to be summer, what's with the rain?) - if they had been wearing what they were in the show, that would've been incentive enough to run across the street in a potentially suicidal manner, but no. That is all.

06/11/04 Double trouble!

So, Alex was kind enough to email me a report about a meeting with Jemaine in Christchurch!

so i have a jemaine report to make............or rather a certain jemaine meeting that took place....hehe........twice

so my friend alix and i (i am also alex) and this other girl called funnily enough...alex and our other mates decided that we had to go see jemaine in 'the untold tales of maui'...so we did. I just have to stop here and say freekin awesome play....so funny! (not to mention jemaine in a grass skirt....if you get what i'm saying) so anyway alix and i have been dying to meet him for the last 3 years so afterwards i went with one of the other girls to go to the loo and we came back to find jem talking to our other friends. alix introduced us and i said hi/hello/how you doin? and mimi (one of our other friends) said hey, he said "hey..jemaine" and mimi was like "yeah...we know." about 5 seconds awkward silence later he said "great to talk to you guys." and joined his other mates.

And so then a couple of days later, alix and i had to go back to see another play at the same place (dam drama exam) and maui was also playing so we went up to the box office and asked the woman if she could get us a couple of maui posters signed...she said yip. so after we'd gotten out of our own play we went to get the posters....low and behold the other show hadn't come out yet so naturally we jumped for joy and took it upon ourselves to wait patiently for the man himself to emerge. finally he did and we pounced (in a respectable way) and asked him to sign the posters. he said "sure" and "you guys must be some of the many alex's" , so we had a brief but good chat before he had to bugger off but i have to say...............it is so worth it. Really good looking guy.........kinda reminds me of mick jagger with the lips and all. hmmmmmm.

cheers, alex

01/09/03 When I saw you in Edinburgh...

Yes, to go along with the new JemKaraoke that includes that line, Jem has been sighted in Edinburgh! A kindly fan decided to leave their report in our guestbook, how we love them so!

Name: jemaniac
Sent: 03.04 - sat 23 aug 2003

Jem sighting in Edinburgh! Spotted walking down Cowgate Street past several dodgy-looking street kids. Well, more like street adults, really. Anyways, he walked with that smooth confidence of a man about to ask a roomful of people to touch his dingaling. He managed to slip past hundreds of adoring, swooning fans waiting in line for the FOTC show (okay, okay, more like several dozen people, and I'm not sure they recognized him) and ducked into the Caves, ergo ending my sighting. Perhaps he spent the last minutes before the show contemplating preposterous hypotheses for adventurous rhymenoceros catharsis. Or something like that.

09/08/03 Strange one-liner!

Yes, that's right, in the realm of our guestbook there has been a message from someone named JEM. Well, actually, jem, but the capitals were for emphasis... i think it was to put a stop to all the angsty messages *certain* people have been leaving lately... and to reassure us.

Name: Jem
Sent: 05.54 - fri 8 aug 2003

we're coming back soon! sept/oct.

So do you think it is the real Jem? Well I guess we'll never know. Although fingers crossed for Wellington shows when they get back!

30/07/03 Christchurch show...

In a message left in our guestbook, Moata talks about a FotC show she saw a few days ago.

29/07/03 - Just saw FotC 3 days ago performing as part of the Christchurch Arts Festival. I laughed so much the side of my face ached and I am positive that when they were doing "Something special for the ladies", which is a very sexy tune, that Jemaine was looking right at me. I was in the 2nd row and I am now smitten. What a sexy bastard! Yes, we totally agree!

1/07/03 Good JemFriend tells all!

We have had a couple of messages left in the Saint Clement's guestbook from a mysterious 'Alby', who claims to be a good friend of Jem's.

21/06/03 - "I Know Jemaine quite well, I am told by a very reliable source that he employs a network of lookalikes, he has, in fact, an entire army of jemaine clements just to deal with the day to day rigours of being "HIM". It is also rumoured that during the FotC season during the Laugh! festival, it wasn't really Jemaine on stage but one of his lookalikes and it was the amazingly talented Bret McKenzie who sang both parts while the imposter was only lipsynching. It's true! One of Jemaine's better known lookalikes is Oscar winner Benicio Del Toro, when he's not busy being a famous film star that is..."

26/06/03 - "Figwit has lookalikes too, aparently one of them is in popular Wellington reggae band "The Black Seeds", cunning! Anyway the main rumour about Mr Clement himself at the moment is that he is starring in the new Harry Potter film as the new Dumbledorf! Weird I know!"

20/02/03 Jem Sighting in Wellington!

Jem's Jess writes- "Dear Saint Clements, I would like to report a Jem sighting! Last Sunday at around 1.00pm at the last bus stop on lambton quay, I saw him! Jemaine was marching along in the anti-war, peace protest when I spotted him and commenced jumping like a trig graph because of my excitement. Jem appeared to be wearing the same kind of outfit as he was wearing the last time I saw him, on the T.V. program �The Bradley Bunch�: daggy sort of clothes with some (hilarious) tinted, retro sunglasses (they could have been the same pink ones that he wore on the show but I have a feeling that jem is masking a passion for tinted retro sunglasses and could therefore have several other pairs).

Anyway, when I stopped bouncing up and down shrieking �Jem!! Its Jem!!� to my sister who is now totally freaked out by me, I ran along the footpath trying to follow Jem who had temporarily disappeared from my vision. When I caught sight of the prized one again, he was a little way ahead of me. Unfortunately we were separated by a mob of aggravated hippies (no offence meant) yelling out �5678 why don�t we negotiate?!�, so I couldn�t run out to meet Jem as I otherwise would have done.

As the march moved one my sparkling Jem grew further away from me, heading towards the block of concrete called parliament. There I do not know what Jem underwent but I have reason to suspect that he walked over some grass. I caught the bus home, all the time thinking about my close encounter with Jemaine Clement.

~ from Jem�s Jess"