Noble Samurai who can only be described with so many adjectives...

The Samurai Pizza Cats


King of the Monsters, and star of the Big Screen...


The Scenario

The Big G once again emerges from the coastal waters, looking to wreak havoc upon the world. His first target: Little Tokyo. The only line of defense that has a prayer of stopping him: The Samurai Pizza Cats.

A little note: The Godzilla used in this confrontation is the crappy, American, mutant iguana Godzilla, and not the infinitely cooler, invulnerable, fry-you-at-fifty-paces Japanese Godzilla...

...seen here.

Fighting Skill

The original Kyatto Ninden Teyandee episodes ran for about two years, and amounted to fifty-two episodes. Give or take a couple of robots, this means the SPC destroyed about 60 robots during the course of their careers.

On the other hand, Godzilla has been stomping Japanese cities since 1956. He has decimated armies, aliens, and fellow monsters. Millions of generic, fleeing Japanese citizens slaughtered!


The Fan Base

The SPC have developed a fan following of a few hundred people around the world, due to their two years on the air, and moderate success on the Internet afterward.

Godzilla is...well...he's Godzilla! In his forty-three year career, he's starred in over twenty feature films, had two cartoon series, several great novels, and too much worthless kiddie merchandise to calculate. What's left to say?


Size Does Matter

I know what you're thinking. Godzilla has this one nailed, right? Not quite. The Lizard King is (supposedly) about 300 feet tall, in comparison to our heroes, who stand about three or four feet tall.

However, the buildings in Little Tokyo are built to suit three or four feet tall people, and thus, aren't nearly as large as those found in your average metropolitan area. Remember, our mutated iguana friend lacks the toughness factor of his oriental counterpart (Killed by a measly twelve missiles!? BAH!), and a large amount of his survival skill depends on his ability to hide himself in his surroundings. When you're totally off scale from the area around you, where do you hide?

Another plus for the Pizza Cats is that their small size will allow them to move about very easily within the city. Godzilla may have trouble launching attacks against such small targets.


Sidekick History

The gallery of second bananas for the SPC is indeed an extensive one. There's Big Al, Princess Vi, Lucille, Francine, and a whole slew of extras, such as I. Beam.

Godzilla has hooked up with the likes of Mothra, Rodan, Anguillis, and many others. If you really want to see how far the King's influence extends, rent yourself a copy of "Destroy All Monsters". Yeesh!


The Finisher

Speedy has the Cat's Eye Slash. Godzilla can either step on you or eat you. Pick your poison.


The Fight

The SPC start off strong by rushing the Big G head on, making useless stabs at his feet. Godzilla, confused and somewhat annoyed, attempts to locate his attackers, but there's very little room to move in the city. As the Cats continue their assault, he quickly wises up, and concentrates his attacks on the buildings, flattening Little Tokyo in seconds. Exposed and terrified, our heroes flee, choosing to accept defeat rather than certain death.


and still the leading scourge of humanity...



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