If I Let You Go

Hey Everyone!! I'm ba-ack!! Took me long enough, didn't it? ^_^ Anyhow, this is my first "attempt" at a song fic, so please don't flame me real hard! Please review!! I need to know how bad or good I did or else I can't make my stories better! And if ya don't like kouyako, then leave now, cuz that's the couple this focuses on. This is also kinda sad, cause I cried a bit at some parts when I wrote this. Also, I may write a sequel to this, so that's why this is in chapter form. Takes place about 4 years after season 2.

Disclaimer: Is this necessary? Digimon isn't mine, and it will never be mine >_< and I don't own the song, either.

Dedicated to all my readers and friends out there especially Maura (jus1digigirl), Bumblebee, Kara-Chan, Tai Luva, Desert Sun, Li Sakura, DigitalAnimeFox, Yuki, Daikari-Chan and Theo ‘Blitz' Leung. You guys are the greatest!

CONTEST WINNERS AT THE END

By: I Am Canadian

Day after day time pass away
And I just cant get you off my mind
Nobody knows I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I cant find

The courage to show, to letting you know
I've never felt so much in love before
And once again im thinking about
Taking the easy way out

Figures that the one time you fall hard for somebody; that this person and you are meant to be together, something happens. In my case, the guy of my dreams moved away. I'll be the first one to admit it, I've had a lot of crushes, but in this case it was not a crush. The first time I laid eyes on Izzy, I knew he was something special. Corny, but true. That's why I never told anyone; they'd probably just laugh or brush it off as my crush-of-the-week thing. But Izzy was not just a crush. I fell in love. That's right. Honest-to-goodness LOVE. So, you can imagine how distraught I was when he moved away. The worst part about it though, was that I never told him how I felt or asked if he felt the same about me. Now I've got to live with that horrible feeling for the rest of my life. I've also got to live with that thought alone, because nobody on the face of this earth knew that I loved him.

I haven't heard from Izzy in almost a year and a half. I don't know if he still lives in Los Angeles, where his dad's job took them, or if he's gone somewhere else. So lately, I've been thinking if I should just put the whole I'm-in-love thing to rest. Sometimes I think I must be crazy if I do that, but I'm starting to think that letting Izzy go is better than having that horrible feeling the rest of my life.

But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go?

That's the problem. I don't know how my life would've turned out if I had told Izzy about my feelings. Maybe we'd be together right now. Then, I wouldn't have to sit here and think about all of this. But that's not how it happened, although you can bet that I wished it could've been. I wished, oh so many times, that I could see him and his smile again. The smile that made me realize that I was in love. I cry now, thinking about it, as the way my life could have been. This all keeps coming back to my original plans, however. I just think it would be easier on me if I just let Izzy go peacefully, without causing me all this heartbreak and emotional breakdown.

Night after night I hear my self say
Why can't this feeling just fade away?
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a shame we're worlds apart

Why can't this feeling fade away? It's causing me so much emotional trouble. Although I've gotta admit, there is no one like Izzy. He was one of the few people who made me feel that my life was worth living. He didn't call me names; just accepted me the way that I was. That's probably the reason I fell in love with him in the first place. If only he was still here. But he's not. I have to accept that.

I'm to shy to ask, I'm to proud to lose
But sooner or later I've got to choose
And once again im thinking about
Taking the easy way out

How long it's gonna take me to accept it, I don't know. Hopefully, sooner than later, because I don't want this emotional burden on my shoulders. Oh how I wish I told Izzy how I felt before he left. Then I wouldn't have to accept the fact that he's gone quite as painful. But I can't change the past. What's done is done.

But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me ?
How will I know if I let you go ?
But if I let you go I will never know
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
How will I know if I let you go?

I don't know if I'll ever see Izzy again. I probably won't, as I don't know where he is now. But I still have hope that I will see him again and If I do, then I will tell him how I feel. That is, if I don't let him go......

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Well? What do you think? Bad? Sad? Rotten? Good? Please review so I know. Reviews = Happy Author who will write more fics if she knows people like her fics. Like I said, this my first *attempt* at both a kouyako and a song fic, to bear with me on that. Chapter two coming soon!

later, ~*IAC*~

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