Tai Luva's Digimon Fanfiction

Bios

Okay, this looks like it, www.geocities.com/tais_gurl2000/bios. Oh man, I hope I don't have to do this alone. Hello, anybody here? *trips over something on the floor* Sora!?!
Tai? *starts smoothing down her hair* We uh . . .
Tai's here? *Matt pulls his shirt over his head* Hey man. *laughs nervously* We sort of thought we had this section all to ourselves . . .
*dryly*I would never have guessed. You know, we're actually supposed to be helping out with the site.
Yeah. Of course. So we're stuck with bios right? How do you even start something like that?
You could always start by putting your pants back on . . .
Hehehe, right.
Well, Tai Luva was good enough to copy the bio's from the Fox Website for us. I guess we're just supposed to add to them wherever we think we should.
Beautiful. The less work the better.

(Look at that hair. Do you think it ever moves?)

Cody: Digidestined Just in case we were confused and thought they were writing bios for random kids . . .

Cody's the youngest of the new DigiDestined, but he's also the most practical of the bunch. He never acts without thinking things through, which can be a problem in the fast-paced Digiworld. That's it?
Wow, the detail of that was absolutely amazing. I feel like I've known Cody my whole life after reading that fine piece of work
You know what the saddest part is? Whoever wrote this probably earns more money in a day than I do in a week.
Which is what, the 75 cents change you find on the floor of your mom's car?
Shut up. I just mean that they didn't really tell anything about Cody at all . . . no family history . . . no age . . .
They didn't even mention the fact that he's a total timebomb.
Cody, a timebomb? No, he's nice. He's just a little quiet.
Yeah, quiet in a crazy U.S. Postal service worker sort of way . . .

Armadillomon: Rookie Oh, I see what the word following colon is for. It's so we can distinguish between people and digimon, I always get them messed up. Thanks Fox bio guy!

Armadillomon can and will eat anything and everything. Sounds like Tai, if you pay him enough . . .
Hey! We vowed never to speak of the Drano incident again.
*thinks to herself* That explains sooooo much. For the most part, he's a happy creature, but once he gets angry there's no reasoning with him.
Whoa, I think Fox Bio Guy is a little comma happy.
You're right. Look how you would read that sentence: For the most part *pause* he's a happy creature *pause* but once he gets angry there's no reasoning with him.
Not only that, this last part is entirely inaccurate. Of the new DD, I thought Cody had the most reasonable digimon. And I don't remember Armadillomon ever getting mad.
Oh well, that's Fox bio guy's problem. Onto the next one . . .

(Just what we need, another goggle boy . . .)

You're just jealous . . . you wish you had those goggles. In fact, I wish I had those goggles . . . what was I thinking when I gave them to Davis?

Davis: Digidestined *looks over at Tai* You're not going to make fun of the colon this time?
Nah, I got it out of my system.

Davis is a natural leader. He's very dependable and full of spunk, Spunk? Did Fox bio guy just use the word "SPUNK"? *bursts out laughing* This just in: Recent evidence has proven beyond a doubt that the writer of the official digimon bios, our beloved hero Fox Bio Guy, is actually over 50. Stay tuned for more of this chilling exposť. We now return you to our regularly schedualed programming. . . but often loses his temper. Davis has a crush on Kari and sees T.K. as his rival. He admires Tai and always wears the goggles Tai gave him. Of course he does, they're kick ass goggles.

Veemon: Rookie Tha. . . I thought you said it was out of your system.
Sorry, I thought it was. Continue on, Fox Bio Guy.

Veemon is a happy-go-lucky Digimon, who often leaps before he looks. He's kind, confident, and has a strong sense of duty. Sounds like Davis, especially the leaping part . . . He and Davis are two of a kind. Oh, that's a point for Sora.
*whispers to Tai* She's keeping score?
Apparently so. Let's just smile and nod and back away slowly. Fox Bio Guy actually did a decent job on this one.

My adorable little sister
Yeah, she may be adorable but she messes constantly with T.K.'s mind
And let's not forget Davis.
It's not her fault. I think being wanted is in the Kamiya genes
Tai, the fact that scientists want to study you doesn't count as being wanted.

Kari: Digidestined

Kari's gentle and trusting ways sometimes get her into trouble. Unlike Tai, who just used to lead us into trouble. You're walking on thin ice Ishida . . . However, for the most part, she has good judgement and natural leadership skills (which she inherited from her dashingly good looking brother).

Gatomon: Champion

Gatomon looks like a gentle kitten until you notice her long, long tail. Mind you it's a long, LONG tail. Not just plain long.
It's size was so immense that Fox bio guy needed 2 'longs' to describe it.
I don't even know how they fit it in the picture.
Are you guys done being sarcastic yet?
And what if we're not, point girl?
Simple. *pulls out a piece of paper* That's minus five for both Matt and Tai and an additional three points off Tai for calling me Point Girl.
Oy.
She's a Champion Digimon with one of the quickest attacks in the DigiWorld: Lightning Claw.

Awww, it's my baby bro
Also known as the man of a thousand bad hats. At least the Gilligan's Island reject one he wears now is better than that hideous green bucket thing he used to have
So true. I've been trying to introduce him to the wonderful world of gel for several years now but he keeps reverting back to the hat. I'm beginning to think it's hopeless.

T.K.: Digidestined

T.K. is now the star player on the basketball team. He makes friends easily and many girls have a crush on him (it runs in the family) although he doesn't know it. His intense curiousity sometimes gets him into trouble.
Intense curiousity? I think Fox Bio guy's wrong again. That sounds more like Izzy.
Yeah, I've never known T.K. to be intensely anything. He's more laid back than Matt is, and Matt's frustratingly so . . .
Hey, I told you. I'm not laid back, I'm selectively worried.
Whatever you say.

It's Ugly Hat Boy's trusty sidekick, Batpig!
Batpig has the uncanny abitlity to scare enemies away with it's annoying voice. I swear, everytime it speaks I want to smack the damn thing.
Patamon's cute, leave him alone.

Patamon: Rookie

Patamon may look gentle, but beware his powerful Boom Bubble! Known for his loyalty, Patamon defends T.K. with all his might.
A digimon that defends their partner? What a strange concept. Do you think they're being serious?
ALERT THE MEDIA!!! HELL HAS INDEED FROZEN OVER! CAN YOU IMAGINE THE CHAOS THIS IS GOING TO CAUSE??? IT'S SO INSANE, PIGS WILL START FLYING!
I thought you said Patamon was a flying pig.
*smiles sheepishly*

So that's what you did with your old helmet, Sora.
Shut up. My helmet was far nicer than Yolei's.
Yeah, Sora's had straps. *snickers*
I'm going to choose to ignore the fact that you're being sarcastic.

Yolei : Digidestined

Yolei's a mechanical whiz and she's also the oldest of the new DigiDestined. A bit hyper and selfish, (if I had that many brothers and sisters I think I'd be a bit selfish too) she sometimes comes across as a troublemaker. But deep down, Yolei is honest and sensitive.
Sensitive? . . . that girl wouldn't know the definition of tact if it hit her upside the head.
*thinks to herself* Now there's the pot calling the kettle black.
Yeah, but she's still great. My favorite Yolei moment was when she called Davis a jerk . . . good times . . . good times. . . Most people can't help, but like her.
AGH! Again with the crazy comma insertion.
My english teacher would rip Fox Bio Guy apart.

Hawkmon: Rookie

Hawkmon is stylish and a bit snobbish, but never selfish.
I've got a question.
Shoot.
Why do people assume that when someone speaks with an English accent they're snobby?
I don't know. But I do know that when you assume, it makes an ass out of u and me
Wisdom from Tai . . .
He does everything he can to look out for Yolei and tries to keep her out of trouble.

I have, by far, the best hair of all the digidestined.
*cough*Second best*cough*

Tai *chokes*
What's the matter?
*clenches fists* I'm going to murder them. You're the leader for a whole freaking year and . . . they just think they can . . . ARHHH! *starts breathing rapidly*
Tai, come on. Stop hyperventelating for a second and tell us what's wrong.
Where's the colon? AM I NOT A DIGIDESTINED OR SOMETHING? DO I NOT HAVE A DIGIVICE AND DIGIMON? SURE I MAY NOT HAVE A FANCY D3, OR A D-TERMINAL, AND AGUMON MAY NOT BE ABLE TO ARMOR DIGIVOLVE, BUT DOES THAT GIVE FOX BIO GUY ANY RIGHT NOT TO LIST ME AS A DIGIDESTINED? NO!
Tai, just calm down. I'm sure it was just a minor oversight. Here, have some 7 Up *slips in several tranquilizers*
THAT'S NOT GOING TO HELP! I DEMAND REDRESS! *takes a sip* I WANT JUStice . . . what was I talking about?
We were just about to continue doing your bio.
Oh.
*whispers to Sora* Nicely done.

Now in the 11th grade, the leader of the original DigiDestined is still as adventurous as ever and still loves to play soccer. I have a gift, what can I say? It's certainly not the gift of modesty. Tai sometimes offers advice and guidance to the new Digidestined. Many of the new kids look up to him -- especially Davis.
Davis looks up to Tai? I never noticed . . . I mean, it's not like he tries to talk, dress, and act like him or anything.
I'm glad Fox Bio Guy told us.

Agumon's gotten me out of more messes than I can count
Which is all the way up to ten now, right Tai?
Are you trying to get yourself beat up?

Agumon: Rookie

Agumon's Pepper Breath can start fires on impact, but he's the last one to brag about his many successes. Although brave, Agumon is not reckless.
Wow, Fow Bio Guy actually did a good job on this . . .
Shocking but true

Sora: Digidestined
Thanks Tai.

Now in high school, Sora is very busy and has more energy that ever! Ooo, you got an exclaimation mark, looks like Fox Bio Guy's got a crush on someone . . . You better look out Matt, he might steal her away from you using word like SPUNK. Shut up. She can be found playing tennis and working in her mother's flower shop. Now older and wiser, Sora is willing to let others find their own way, although the new DigiDestined appreciate her advice.

Biyomon's the best . . .

Biyomon: Rookie

Biyomon is very protective and conquers enemies with her Spiral Twister Attack. She likes to have fun and tries to help her friends do the same.
Wow, Fox Bio Guy is actually getting better at this . . .
Not only is he making sense and telling the truth, there's no insane comma placement.

*humming Material Girl quietly*
Matt, as true as it may be, if you don't stop humming Madonna this second I'm going to have to resort to violence.

Mimi: Digidestined

Mimi and her parents moved to America and she is in 10th grade. She always sees the best in others and is willing to give anyone a second chance. Mimi's still a bit bossy,What does Fox Bio Guy mean by still? Mimi used to be bossy? I never noticed that . . . You guys are horrible! *pulls out notepad* Minus one . . . but the younger DigiDestined always enjoy her visits.

Palmon: Rookie

Palmon uses her Poison Ivy attack to stop enemy Digimon in their tracks. She can also knock them out with her foul-smelling Stinking Attack!
I'd just like to take a moment before we move on to revel in the gloriously ironic fact that Mimi's digimon has an attack called Stinking Attack . . . *pauses* Thank you.

Joe: Digidestined
Must you continue to do that?
I must.

The oldest of the DigiDestined, Joe's now in 12th grade and still wants to become a doctor. What a shocker . . . He has a better outlook on life, but is still a worrier. Although the other kids tease him for it, his concerns often keep them from harm.
Of course his concerns keep them from harm, otherwise Joe would be useless. If his worries didn't have some ground or use, he's just be some horribly paranoid psychotic.
Really? I guess I was wrong all this time. I thought that was what he was . . .
ooOOOoo, Sora brings out her mean side. After all these years we've finally succeeded in corrupting her.

Gomamon : Rookie

Gomamon loves to swim. He's also known for his curiousity and his Marching Fishes and Claw Attack. Gomamon believes the best thing in life is friendship. I always thought the best thing in life were those little mints they leave on your pillow when you stay at a hotel. I stand corrected.

Don't look directly at the picture. You may be blinded by the brilliance of it.
Phh.
And if that doesn't blind you . . .
Don't even start.
*whispers* You could loose your vision if you got poked in the eye by one of the overly-gelled spikes in Matt's hair. My hair's not only better, it's kid friendly too.

Matt: Digidestined

Matt is now in high school and has his own band. He is still a bit rebellious and gets his feelings hurt easily, but he's always there when the younger DigiDestined need him.
Gets his feelings hurt easily? *bursts into uncontrollable laughter* Wow, Matt, I never knew you were so . . . emotional
Sure he is. Matt's a very sensitive guy.
*continues to snicker*
Sora, honey, I know you're trying to help, but you're really not.
But you are. Remember the time you cried when we watched Pay It Forward?
You CRIED? *rolling on the floor in fits of laughter*
Can we please just move to the next bio.
I don't know. I'd hate to hurt your feelings and make you cry.
*narrows his eyes* Let's just continue on before someone gets hurt, shall we?

Gabumon : Rookie

Although a bit shy, Gabumon is able to intimidate almost any enemy with his powerful Blue Blaster. He is the calmest Digimon. Unlike his partner, who is apparently an emotional breakdown just waiting to happen.
I say this from the bottom of my sappy, sensitive heart, Tai. If you don't shut up, I'm going to shove this keyboard up your ass.
It's good to have you back.
Guys . . .

Izzy: Digidestined. Muhahaha, I beat you to it Tai.
Damn! And it was the last one too.

Izzy still loves computers Surprise, surprise . . . and helps out the computer club at the junior high school. He keeps an eye out while Davis and the other new DigiDestined are in the Digital World. Without Izzy, I think the new DD would have been long dead.
It's so true. We were much more competent than them, we had almost no one to help us.
Exactly, we did it all on our own. Ah, the good old days . . .
Being kidnapped by datamon . . .
Running from monsters everywhere we turned . . .
Good times . . . good times . . .

Tentomon : Rookie

Using his Super Shocker and Talon Attack, Tentomon can defeat almost any Digimon, except Champions.
Uh, Fox Bio Guy? Don't you mean Champion level and above? I mean, if Tentomon could defeat almost any digimon, we would have had a much easier time with the dark masters. Even with his super-strength, Tentomon is really a gentle monster at heart.

And we are done. Glorious freedom!
Hey, do you guys have the feeling that Fox Bio Guy forgot someone?
Like a certain person who used to be the Digimon Emperor, then learned the errors of his ways and went on to help save the world from certain distruction? No, I didn't.
Hmm, it must have just been me.
Hey Sora, do have any more 7up? *holds up empty 2L bottle* I'm all done. You know, it was really good but it kind of had a funny after-taste, I was thinking that . . . *passes out on the floor*
*smiles suggestively* Now where were we before Tai so rudley interupted?
I was just about to *whispers something in her ear*
*takes out her notepad*
What?
For that you just earned yourself more points than Tai and myself combined . . .

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